A Beginning

I was living in Montana, newly divorced, looking for ways to recover from a bad marriage. I was 35 years old, seeing the ugly side of 40 already, and not very happy about it. Most people my age were all settled into their jobs, their marriages and young families; I didn't have any of those advantages.

Over the years I'd noticed I was pretty good at picking stocks, so I studied hard and took my Series 65 exam to become an investment advisor. Having lived in the ghetto for a few years, money was pretty important to me if I wanted to stay out of cockroach infested apartments, desperate screams in the night, police that would never show up when called. Yep, I wanted to make some money.

I noticed though that both myself and my clients, once we had some money, it didn't change what we felt was missing in our hearts. Having met my financial goals, I decided to dedicate my life to service, to ease suffering in the world. I'd seen enough of it in my life and really wanted to do something insignificant, but profound. I began to question whether or not I was going through the typical mid-life crisis in the winter of 1999.

One night I was channel surfing and caught the end of a news broadcast about a guy in Colorado who had 22 big cats. He'd been laid off and needed money quickly, otherwise his animals were going to be killed. (As it turns out, he does this every six or seven years). The story really touched me, so I called his bank and wired enough funds to feed the animals for three months, giving him time to get his feet back on the ground.

He was very appreciative and invited me to come to Colorado to meet the animals I'd helped save. I went and fell in love.

The big cats, unlike people, were honest about who and what they were. They'd offer me their shoulders and throats to scratch, but they also let me know they'd have me for lunch in a heartbeat. I respected that honesty immensely.

When I looked into their eyes I saw God. I saw majesty, wisdom, love and yearning...everything I wanted to be, everything I already was.

I went back to Montana with a huge headache. My life had changed forever.

I waited three weeks and went back...I didn't want to make a life changing decision based on a mid-life crisis need to be needed. When I went back to Colorado, my feelings were validated; I'd finally found my purpose in life.

I went back to Montana and put my horse ranch up for sale and moved to Colorado in May of 1999.

Until next time,
Tiger